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I guess." I'm so sorry, Helen," I said. "I didn't mean to pry." Well, I asked a lot about your personal life, so fair's fair," Helen said. "It's not all bad though, I do miss sex a bit, but I have my work and the children when they turn up between terms."The conversation rambled on for another hour after that but it marked a sort of sea-change in our relationship. We never openly flirted and tended to shy away from expressing desire (well I did), but we were very open about sex and the lack of it in our lives. Had we not been mother and son I suspect that I'd have made a move on Helen, even though she had no desire to have an affair, having had to deal with the fallout on any number of legal occasions. As it was though our conversations kept returning to the subject on a regular basis and it was an unusual evening of chat which didn't circle around to sex in various shapes or forms.A few months later Helen was telling me about her last case (she never discussed ongoing ones) and the. I can’t let myself love you, you who is so worthy of love.You need, deserve, a man who can make that same promise to you, and keep it. A man who can understand that love is a lot more than sex, and that good things come to those who wait. A man who will treasure you like the jewel you are, for what you are.I ask you to make me a promise. I have no right to request it, but it is out of my care for you that I ask. Promise me that when you decide to let someone love you, it is because you truly love them and know that they love you. You deserve all the happiness in the world that you seek.Please don’t blame your grandmother. She screwed up big time, but she was doing it out of a deep love for you. Please forgive her.I don’t ask for your forgiveness for me, though. I don’t deserve it. Just please accept that I do deeply care for you, and want the very best for you. I know that isn’t me.Sincerely, JohnnyI didn’t want her to know my last name, although I am confident I knew it then. It.
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